Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Matches Made In Hell

I really didn't want to do this.
I  promised myself I was done with blogging about the Mel Gibson and Oksama drama.
Especially since I see other people's walls that say how sick they are of hearing about it.
How the media distorts it.
How it's all probably her fault.
Yet here I go, posting Tape Six, released today, just below this post on this blog.
I'm doing this because I believe information is power and this information could empower someone out there.

Of course I hold Oksana partially liable for arming this legal and emotional minefield.
She was the one who chose to become involved with a married man with a gaggle of kids.
She was implicit in the destruction of a marriage that lasted a long time.
She was the one to knowingly conceive their baby.
At their age, it was no mistake.
She could've used birth control.
So could he.
He had enough kids, she had none.
He had a wife, she wanted to be one.
It was a match made in hell.
However, Mel went way over the line once the hormones wore off.

Hormones run rampant in the beginning of relationships. Some experts say the biochemical intoxication of new love is just like the high of a drug, which causes people to act with reckless abandon for an undetermined initial period of intoxication.
Allegedly, the high lasts 9-12 months.
If you add a certain element of illicitness, it becomes even more exciting to the players and can stretch out the scenario for much longer.
But then...inevitably.... the hormone level begin to drop and what's new and exciting grows stale and annoying.
The things that first attracted you to someone in the beginning are the exact same things that repel you later on.

Now to the point of tonight's diary entry.
I've spent the past few days traveling the state working mixed cases -- injuries and domestics.
The domestics are very strange to the point of disturbing.
Always have been, always will.
If someone says it was an amicable split, don't believe them.
There is almost always a "leavor"(the one who leaves) and a "leavee" (the one left).
And one or both of those is an aggressor.
Sometimes, there's a provocateur...
Other times, there's a hair-trigger response to what is perceived as the ultimate betrayal.

So sometimes, as a P.I., you wonder if you're really helping the right person fight for custody.
Sometimes you wonder if maybe, you're client is wrong.
Sometimes you step away from that case for precisely those reasons.
That's the difficult part about being a good P.I.
Your job is not about what people WANT to hear, you get paid for the TRUTH, whether your client likes it or not.
And sometimes, this disappoints the less professional attorneys who are willing make up some transparent defense a jury will see through.

Which brings me to the point of yet another Mel Gibson related post.
I think its a given that Mel and Oksana are history.
I think it is also a given there will be financial battles.
However, their ultimate conquest  is currently about one innocent victim, a baby.
They are using her as a rope in their emotional tug of war.

So it's late and I have been away from the blog too long.
Coming home to the latest Mel tape, (I believe it is tape six),  released today, I couldn't help listening to the whole thing.
And I thought about their baby while I did.

If the tapes are admissible, I don't think Mel stands a chance of custody.
If they aren't admissible, I don't think the baby stands a chance.
Either way Mel needs professional help.

Wouldn't it be great if two ex's could drop their swords and just walk away from each other yet remain amicable?
That's possible with no children.
It sometimes is possible with ex's who put the children before their dispute. 
With Mel's rage ruling the kingdom, the children become the pawns in the emotional chess game played by a dethroned king and a two demeaned queens.
On this latest tape, it is apparent Mel is unwell and Oksana's responses are rational under the circumstances.

Please understand I am not posting this for sensationalistic purposes.
I have grown up around rage and it took a lot for me to get past it enough to write about it.
But then again, I was not the spawn of Satan and his misguided  mistress.

I'm  also adding a link to a magazine article about Mel's psychology here.

The rant will follow this post. Please do not play the Mel rant if you are a domestic violence victim who experiences PTSD... or if you are near children. This rant is extremely disturbing.  A few of the psychologists who have listened said they wished they hadn't because it is so disturbing.

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