Friday, July 29, 2011

Tuesday, July 26, 2011


I am heading out now to see if I can get a liar to fess up. I have exactly 10 minutes to leave, two hours to drive one way. I ponder ways to crack the lie....
And I think how much people lie every day....
and how many lies are told in the name of love.
Yet people with nothing to hide, they hide nothing.
So why lie?
Then this song came into my head. So I figured, what the heck. It's amazing what people say and do for love. Nothing says it better than this.  Be safe and well blog readers until this PI returns.

Meat Loaf - I'd Lie For You

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Keep your Friends Close and Your Enemies Closer.

If you haven't heard it, you just might find the song that follows is not what you expect. I think there's a little bit of it in all of us.

"Pray For You"-Jaron And the Long Road to Love


Saturday, July 23, 2011

One More Death Investigation

A fellow PI and I went to see some scene and death photos recently.
She is a new investigator and she never worked a homicide vs. suicide case before.
My job is to help the family determine if the conclusion of the police and prosecutor were right... that my client's deceased daughter, let's call her "Sally," killed herself, with a self-inflicted, gunshot wound to her head.
To figure it all out, we had to study the case file, evidence... and  review the police and autopsy photos closely because the family was unwilling to look at the pictures.

The scene photos were grim. Everything ugly, sad... with blood and brain matter spattered.
Then pictures of things... a  gun,  pillows, a spattered wall, close-ups of Sally's dead hands and fingers.
I recall an ashtray filled with half-smoked cigarettes.
The hole in Sally's head the bullet made.
The ugliness of such a death.

Just as we had done with the police file,  I asked the other PI to talk to me as we went through every page together. To tell me everything she observed, wondered about, thoughts that ran through the illuminating magnifying glass of a brain she has.  I wanted another perspective. I took notes.

I watched my newbie Death Investigator closely as we moved to the autopsy photos.
She handled herself well and professionally, though I could tell, she was taken aback.
"I've never seen anything like this before" she said, as I began to move through  the thick stack of  police pictures.
I didn't tell her I have seen way too much of it. I just continued on through the photos.
This was real.
On those true crime TV shows and horror movies... you know, viscerally, "this is not real".
In Hollywood, they  have a school that trains people to act like corpses so the crime shows can use living actors on autopsy tables and crime scenes.

Real life death is ugly and not entertaining.
Because when you look at a dead person, it's like looking in a mirror.
And when you see a brain just splayed out on a table, part of pulverized... you know you have a brain and don't ant it to end up this way.
Or you see a woman younger than you lying naked on an autopsy table, photographed from afar by a stranger... you wonder, then pray, you never have such a shot of you somewhere.
You think all kinds of things.

And these photos were among the ugliest I have seen.
And even now as I blog about it, I thank the heaven's above the family hired me to look those photos so they would never have to.
I think the other PI and I agree. This case could go either way.
It could have been murde.
However, the woman was indeed unstable and had attempted suicide multiple times.
Plus, we both saw what happened with Casey Anthony and OJ Simpson in the criminal arena when there is what many believe true evidence of murder.

No way the family paying us could get enough evidence or money required to get it, if it existed, to indict the boyfriend.

Now I await the CD's I ordered from the police, so I can further study the crime scene, the pictures and write up a case report based on my notes, my associate's observations and all gathered evidence.... that will hopefully put the mother, father and sister of the deceased at some sort of peaceful acceptance of their beloved's death.

I  did speak with the Police Detective on the case before we went to see the crime photos.  He was pretty certain it was suicide and had compelling reasons why. I told him families often hire me after a suicide to get a death certificate changed to homicide because they blame someone else -- either because they truly believe it, or because they can not accept suicide.
The Detective agreed whole heartedly.
He said it is very difficult for police to tell a family member one of their own killed themselves... they would rather place blame than move to acceptance.

Someone once said  "when a person truly goes mad or gives up, they take one of two ways out, suicide or homicide."
I believe yes, he may have killed her. I also think there's  a chance she killed herself.
I just know, there is no way I can prove murder, especially if the police and prosecutor don't believe it
So what would you do with that.... really?
Let the family sink all of their life savings into a losing battle?
Think I'll just tell them the truth -- it's was a fatal  50/50 shot, suicide or homicide.
And the chances of their getting a homicide conviction against a man we have no evidence did it ar zero to nil.

It's hard for a P.I. to let a case like this go.
However, it's the right thing to do for a client/family with barely enough money to keep their bills paid, the lights on.
Without the police and prosecutor behind them, justice will cost money they simply do not have.
Time to pick up the pieces and carry on.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Bin Laden Sea Hunt?

I've been hearing about this guy Bill Warren and his rather bizarre mission for quite a while and was highly skeptical about it all... until I did a little research on Bill's background.
He's serious alright. And the guy is no quack.
It's not about the money he said,  because the bounty hunting part is past.
And I don;t buy the "it's not about the money part" because Bill is, after all a treasure hunter.
Plus, there is definite money on the table and a documentary in the wings.
And now and opportunity for a ride-along.
Yet according to Bill, it's about proving Bin Laden is really dead and this isn't some kind of  elaborate cover up.
From what I have heard of how Bin Laden's body was disposed of and wrapped, it may just be found. All it could take is one person who was aboard on the Navy ship  that dropped the body to talk to Bill.
A sort of water wiki leak with just a few key coordinates.
If you're interested in joining the hunt or donating to the cause... which I am not... there is a fascinating link to Bill's site anyway.... The Bin Laden Sea Hunt. It's at the end of this post.
I'll also post a great story about the search on my Facebook page next.
The You Tube that follows also follows the hunt.

While I can think of better things to do with my time than hunt for Bin Laden, there are other people who believe the whole Bin Laden takeout and burial at sea was a conspiracy.
Like the whole 911 attack....  the conspiracy theorists claim the Twin Towers and consecutive attacks were done not by terrorists, but our own government. In this bloggers opinion, that is a major crock.

And  yes, I  personally do believe our government took Bin Laden down and dropped his body at sea.
If Bill Warren wants to make sure of that, or get the body as some kind of sick treasure and profit from it, well I guess it's his call. It will make a fascinating documentary.
What you think of this situation depends how you think.
I personally think it's fascinating, bizarre and may just happen.
Here's a link to full story about the hunt from the Ron and Don Show and My here in Seattle. 
Click the next line, if you want to support, join, or read about the hunt from Bill's site.

Treasure Hunter Seeks Bin Laden's Body

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Patty Griffin - Rain

Sunday, July 17, 2011

One Word To Cheaters.

If you do cheat... leave.
Just pack up your stuff, head out of the house and go somewhere else. To your lover's, a motel, a friend's, relative's, sleep in your car.
If you cheat, just leave.
It makes things so much easier.
You are obviously not meant to be married and you are harming someone who has committed his or her life to you.

When you know for a fact your spouse is cheating... file separation papers, so they can't continue to to cheat you financially.
Get separate attorneys when someone cheats on you, because they will continually cheat you financially throughout the divorce. If they hook up with a dude or dudette who wants your money, that's two against one. Have no doubt, a cheater will always turn on you in divorce/financial proceeding.
Cheating is a battle, divorce is a war.

If the cheater begs you to please come back.... that they're sorry... it was an aberration... and they want you to try therapy, I sure wouldn't blame you for trying. Though I wouldn't put money on the table you will get  past it. Like an animal with that first taste of blood, once a cheater almost always a cheater. Never does the suspicion go away and suspicion is no good for a relationship.

I wouldn't stay with a cheater.
The minute someone betrays me in such a vile way, that person is history.
However, you are you.
And whatever you do, no one can control you but you.
Just know... if you cheat.... you will be found out. No if's and buts here.
And if you have kids... someone like me... A PI.... or your soon-to-be-ex... and/or  his or her friends, will be on you like white on rice. The kids are innocent and you have betrayed them too.

Know that once your cheating is uncovered,  we PI's  are not  rogue.
We work with Divorce Attorneys, DSHS and the police.
We help weave a net of protection around our clients, the ones who are being cheated on.
Or defrauded. Or lied to.
The thing that blows me away, not just as a PI, also as your average person, is why the cheater thinks they will be able to get away with it?
The minute a new lover enters a domestic equation, it's like the universe sends up red flags and there is no way your affair is not only obvious to your spouse, but everyone around you.

With more and more people meeting in the workplace, Facebook and, more and more affairs and cheating are happening. The economy is failing and predators are looking for others to support their financial habits.

Remember, sex or "falling in love" is  a drug. For many, an addiction. It releases hormones, it makes people crazy and nothing matters but them and their new partner or partners. It is an addiction you are powerless over. Cheating and alcohol/drugs are often intertwined.
I am writing this now to release my pent up angst so I can work on a few cases involving...yes... cheaters!
Go figure.
There are certain deal breakers in a marriage-- cheating and addiction.
When kids are involved, the dangers rise exponentially.
Because a woman never knows if the man she is cheating with is a good guy or Ted Bundy in disguise.
People lie all the time. Many sex offenders and pedophiles on the internet target women with children, to go after the kids.
Many bored, lonely, or money hungry women on the internet target men they think have money.

There are two deal breakers in a marriage/relationship.
Addiction and cheating.
When it comes to cheating, I believe there is no middle ground.
And I think those who think alternative lifestyles with several partners or wives are delusional.
One of many partners will bring an STD into the equation and that will bring death.
Not a reasonable price to pay, in my humble opinion, for a cheap thrill.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Friday, July 15, 2011

Love Boat Sinking

She is sinking fast and the hand she normally reaches out to...
the hand that has almost always been there to grasp hers...
is no longer there, except to provide a shove deeper into the abyss.
I am watching this.
I watch this all the time on domestic cases.

It's been a year since I've done as many domestic dispute cases as I am doing now -- being infidelity, divorce, custody crises that often occur with the coupling/uniting and then disengaging of two people.
In matters of relationships and marriage, I expect a certain self-destruct rate.
However, I never expected the failure rate to run so high.
Statistically I hear it quoted now that 50% of all first marriages end in divorce.
75% of second marriages end in divorce.
And I know a load of people going on marriage three.
I just did a background on a woman going into her fifth  marriage. She is only in her 50's.

Yes, sometimes it works out.
My second marriage has lasted a decade and we are as happy as the first day we met, if not happier.
And three of my closest friends' third marriages are going on well over a couple decades.
However, when you marry someone who has been married four or five times, I think your chances of success are slim.
In successful remarriages, it is because the families blended well, the people who married dated a long time.... endured several conflicts, fights and challenges.
Many second, third, fourth divorces need not have happened had a couple lived through one year of life's cycles, seasons and holidays and realized,  once  the hormones worn off, they were/are incompatible.

These divorce statistics may be fairly startling to some... yet lucrative to others, like attorneys, P.I.'s, DSHS, courts and those who earn a living doing the battle of finding chinks in domestic armor.
Even though Washington is a no-fault divorce state, and whether someone cheats or not doesn't really matter except to expose one person to a partner's betrayal.
it's a whole different story when or someone brings a venereal disease into the equation.
And it's even more complex... when funds are co-mingled.
Especially in this economy, when houses aren't selling, people own lots of property and those property values have declined while  property taxes continue to increase.
More mature couples marry a second or third or even fourth time, co-mingle their debts and assets and all hell breaks loose.
During the lovey-dovey period, people hide their dark financial sides and emotional secrets.
That's what I am paid to uncover.

You work domestics long enough and you can see the trouble coming, see the damages before the hit.
When no children are involved, I tend not to get involved.
I say "get a divorce and get over it."

However, where there are kids involved, who I consider the innocent party -- my antenna goes up automatically.
I do everything I can to deescalate any conflict between the sparring couple by emphasizing the "put the needs of the children first" equation.
Because what is especially dangerous to kids..... besides a divorce or separation... and the children being used as pawns by the parents...
are the later weeks, months, years.... when new partners are found.
Sometimes the new partners blend with your kids. Sometimes they don't.
I have a case now where a new spouse hates her new husband's children.
She already got his only son moved out in under a few months even though dad had custody.

It's the bad seeds... the bad lovers, fiancees, spouses that P.I'.s deal with when things go horribly bad.
That said, let me say something to all you folks out there looking for love.
Be careful.
Very very careful.
It is much better to live alone happily than to live with someone miserably.

In the old days, people lived together after marriage.
Not so anymore.
And truth be told, I think that's wise.
Live together. Times have changed,
I believe people should live together as long as humanly possible before getting married.
It is my know the true nature and direction of a committed relationship until after the estimated 9-12 months for the hormones the body/mind produces to wear off.

Once a baby enters the arena it's a whole different equation, so I won't go there.
I believe a marriage is the best thing for couple who conceive a child together and truly love each other.
However, for many of us, the blush of youth has faded... one marriage came and went...
and then another arrived.
I am on my second.
The best part of my first marriage was the wonderful children they produced.
It is those children and the children of my new husband, besides the integrity of the man I am with,  that have brought my second marriage the greatest joy.
My first marriage was no fun.
This  second marriage is the light in my life and the real thing.
So the big question is this:
How do you know?
How do you know if the person you just fell in love with is baiting you...
or planning to try to change you?
How do you know if the alleged new love of your life is after your money, or a servant,  or fancy house that they have no clue could be mortgaged, or refinanced, to the hilt?
How do you know if the person you are dating is a narcissist, control freak, talks about you behind your back?
Beyond running court records for past divorces, liens, judgments, warrants, multiple marriages and reading through divorce files, county assessor records regarding the financing behind properties owned or acquired through prior are some signs to looks for:

1. Quickie Wedding: You or the other person you just started dating.... or dated once and just reunited with after years... is pushing for a fast marriage (4 months or under) unless someone's pregnant. If you dated years and years earlier, like one of those reunions, and you count the time together in your time of knowing each other.... forgertaboutit. The clock starts ticking on the date you start dating again.... because something broke you up in the first place.
If you are pushing for a fast marriage, it's probably because you are desperate to marry.
Or they have something you want or think will "complete" you --friends, a life, a job, assets.
If the other person is pushing for a hasty marriage, the same applies. They want something from you they are unwilling to wait for. 
2. Employment: When one person works, the other doesn't, the one who works will inevitably resent, nag and detest the non worker. No way around it.
3. Family Dynamics: Look at the family relationships of the person you are marrying. How tight are they with their children?  How tight is your new honey with their soon-to-be step children? Since your new love has entered your life,  has that love alienated any of  your family or friends?  If so why?
4. Alcohol or Drug Use -- if you both drink, every evening, often, whatever, it won't work.
As people age, they absorb alcohol differently. Especially women who really do not process alcohol well in later years. Add menopause or "malepause" to the equation and you've got combustion.
5. Social Circle Limits -- if one person has a group of friends the you are excluded from, warning sign.If one person takes a social trip you are not invited on, warning sign.  If one person thinks he or she knows everything, warning sign.
6. Isolation -- another a key warning sign. What I mean by that is if you are consumed by your new partner  to the exclusion of others in your home or life you have known a long time. That is, I suppose, to be expected. However, very often the new partner gets drunk, yells at, or says bad  stuff to your own kids about you behind their backs, and the kids are too scared to tell you, so they won't. That's because kids know you will believe your lying girlfriend or boyfriend and call them... your own kids... liars. Your new boyfriend or girlfriend will make your kid out to be crazy.
7. Judgmental personalities -- People who think they are better than you, smarter than you, work harder than you, judge your kids, your friends... are to be avoided at all costs. Google narcissist. That says it all. Have your two best friends spend an evening or weekend with your soon to be spouse. Listen to their feedback. I have yet to meet one person I have known all my life who does not like my husband.
8. Screamers-- do not marry one. If you are both screamers, forgetaboutit. Life is dramatic enough. Love is all about love and compromise. Not control. Not changing the other person.
The best a relationship will EVER be is in the very beginning 1-9 month hormonal dating period.
From there, it is all downhill. The question is, can you handle the inevitable downhill slope?
If your fights end up in screaming matches, slammed doors, major drama, step away. If the person you are with never apologizes for a mistake in judgment towards you, or others, step away. Apologies are important successful marriages. Every story has three sides -- yours, mine and the truth.
9. Money Spenders -- Money is the number one cause of divorce besides problems with the kids/step-kids. If you are hemorrhaging money during your dating/marrying period, buying expensive new items to accommodate your controlling partner's desires, wanderlust, hobbies.... close the money tap now.  If you have money, get a pre-nup.
10. Drama -- true love is seamless, simple. It flows beautifully.  Friends and family join in one loving sacred embrace. If one person controls the other, takes the leads, calls the shots and creates drama in your world rather than enhancing your family life... get premarital counseling. It's short term and a whole lot cheaper than a divorce which, at the low end, can run each party well over 10 grand.

All of this, every bit of it, is happening in four cases I am working now.
Two couples getting married. And two divorces.
It is neither pretty or pleasant.
And it all could be or could have been avoided if everyone slowed down, chilled, and looked closely behind the masks we put on everyday before we marry, co-mingle lives and funds... and then destroy family and life long relationships.

All it takes is one good winter of discontent to reveal what happens when your new love tweeks out.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Re: The Divorce Song - Disclamer/Warning

Let me preface the song you are about to hear with a warning.
This is not for minors.
It will be offensive to some if not many.
The language gets quite explicit.
However, I find it quite funny. Loaded with dark, sarcastic, sick humor. My cup of tea.
I suggest any person who has been through a divorce with an abusive partner or experienced abuse skip this song.
However, if you have a twisted sense of humor, as I do, you might find the absurdity in this highly creative piece entertaining.
Or not.
I'll hear about it in the comments section or emails.
If I tick enough people off, I may even take it down.
Just gotta' love freedom of speech.

Stephen lynch - Lullaby ( The divorce song ) - Custody Question

Dear Private Eye:

I can not stand my step father. He is verbally abusive to me, screams and calls me names. He drinks all the time and hates my dad who I only get to see every other weekend due to the custody deal my parents made 10 years before my mother met this loser. The guy doesn't work. He was fired and gets no unemployment so he lives off all the child support my dad sends. Mom works two minimum wage jobs, is  always  gone working. When she is home, she drinks with my step father and they get into these extreme fights.  I am 16 years old, the only kid left at home.  I want to live with my dad. I don't want to disappoint my mom but I  HATE my stepfather. What can I do?

Dear Rebel:

I don't know what state you are in, or what custody laws are there. However, I believe there comes a point where a kid can speak for himself or herself in a court of law and tell a judge who he/she wants to live with.

This of course can be quite a challenge for the judge to figure out because often, parents use kids as pawns in divorce. And you may be forced by one party to say you want to live somewhere you really don't want to. For instance, your step father could threaten to harm your mother if you choose to live with your dad.  Your step father may want that child support money.
These are the things  family law attorneys,  P.I.'s, social workers, family court workers and officers of the court see a lot.
Kids who prove they're intelligent, resourceful and have good/due cause, can also "emancipate" themselves.

It sounds to me like you are making this decision on your own. And I believe you do not feel safe, nor are you safe, at home with your step dad. So I think it's time to sound the horn... become transparent.... and open yourself up to your real dad, your mom, let them know what you want to do. If things get rough, do not hesitate to  tell your teacher, guidance counselor,  the police or whatever version of Child Protective services operates in your state.

You are 16 years old. In two more years, you qualify for the military. You could fight for this country. So start fighting for yourself and your rights to a safe happy childhood... now. Don't worry about disappointing your mom. In my opinion, your mom disappointed you by marrying that loser.
Take care of yourself first. Find your way back to your dad. Legally.

Good Luck Rebel. Sorry you have to go through all this!
Your Private Eye

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Johnny Cash - San Quentin (Live from Prison)

"Prison vs. Full Time Job?"

From Clumsy Crooks. com. Link at end...
Published: January 18, 2011

Which is better? Prison or a Full-Time Job?

In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8' X 10' cell.

At work you spend most of your time in a 6' X 8' cubicle.

In prison you get three meals a day.

At work you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for that one.

In prison you get time off for good behavior.

At work you get rewarded for good behavior with more work.

In prison a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.

At work you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.

In prison you can watch TV and play games.

At work you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

In prison they ball-and-chain you when you go somewhere.

At work you are just ball-and-chained.

In prison you get your own toilet.

At work you have to share.

In prison they allow your family and friends to visit.

At work you cannot even speak to your family and friends.

In prison all expenses are paid by taxpayers, with no work required.

At work you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for the prisoners.

In prison you spend most of your life looking through bars from the inside wanting to get out.

At work you spend most of your time wanting to get out and inside bars.

In prison you can join many programs which you can leave at any time.

At work there are some programs you can never get out of.

In prison there are wardens who are often sadistic.

At work we have managers.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011 - Problem Overload

Dear Private Eye:

I can't seem to shift my thinking to a more positive perspective. People tell me to just think of problems as opportunities. I only see problems. Now my girlfriend has dumped me after my unemployment ran out. Any brilliant ideas?


Dear Distressed,

Interesting and relevant email.
In Chinese, the symbol for "problem" and "opportunity" are the same thing. I guess that's why I use this quote ad nauseum. "Let's turn this problem into an opportunity."
I know it's hard... sometimes even to get out of bed.
Personally, I am having one of those mornings as I write this.... and I have yet to hit the road.
The challenge of life is rising to meet it when you feel like the rug had been pulled out underneath you. Me? I weave new rugs from tattered remains.
So do one thing different today, Distressed.
One little thing.
Baby steps lead to bigger steps, then leaps and bounds.
An example? I didn't plan to blog this a.m. and did.
I'm not saying much am I? However, I am saying something.
And that is better than doing nothing at all,
I leave behind the following video I also posted on my Facebook wall.
My friends sent it to me, Les performs it, Elle is his muse.
The message in the song is quote meaningful and I believe Les in an awesome performer.
He's in Las Vegas right now.
And he started with just one baby step.

For the first time by The Script-performed by Les Launer

Saturday, July 9, 2011

The Cash In

We all knew it was coming. Follow this link.

Eulogy: Last word on Caylee and Casey

I got an email comment from a blog reader who was quite upset by a biased You Tube posted about Casey Anthony below.
It was interesting because I agree with that reader's comment.
And I thought quite some time before posting the video on the blog.
I knew it would stir the pot.
Other people emailed me.  I'd say there was a 50-50 split on fair and unfair.

I guess that's why I hesitated before posting that You-Tube.
Ultimately,  however, I decided to use blog to reflect what I see the world seeing... and what I feel personally about cases I investigate or hear about.
Of course, like a pancake,  every story has two sides.
And there are people, now free from prison, I honestly believed guilty who turned out innocent.
I have also worked cases where the police and/or a grand jury couldn't get enough evidence on someone we all knew/believed murdered someone....
so the murderer (I will not use the words "alleged murderer")  is still free.

I've made my opinion about Casey's guilt clear on my Facebook page.
I believe she is a compulsive and pathological liar.
I believe she did it, she knows she did it... however, she has somehow convinced herself she didn't do it . Or if she does think she did it, she didn't do it on purpose. Along the way she wove a sticky, complex webs of lies that trapped her family and this nation.
Ultimately, she convinced her attorneys and convinced a jury  that her lies were so confusing, the jury couldn't be sure she killed Caylee.
I get that. I don't like it, but I get it.
How the jury did not get her child neglect -- 31 days, missing baby, 911 call triggered by Grandmother --  is way beyond my ability to comprehend.

I have learned a lot about lies, lying and liars in my career as a PI,
Pathological liars or rank amateurs can actually convince themselves the lie is true.
Somehow, they send some signal through their brains, that makes them believe their own lie.
Like I didn't really kill my baby.
Or it was an accident.
Or it never happened.
Or SODDI (Some other Dude Did It).

I met a lunatic the other day and I am convinced, had that person had a gun I would not be here.
Casey Anthony may meet up with some such lunatic who has a gun and may meet fate fast.
Or maybe she will have another baby and many more and marry and fade into another sensational story that makes the top 100 crimes on a reality TV show 10 years from now.
What's done is done. There are no do-overs in life. Just go-forwards.

So when I came across a Facebook page this morning run by the families of missing children and murdered children.... families who are lost and outraged  by the media attention focused on this case and not their missing child, I knew it was time to say goodbye to Caylee, Casey and the whole case.
The You Tube below is long and yes, biased.

It is however, a poignant requiem to leave in this case's wake.
It's also a longer cut, so give yourself, and Caylee, seven minutes today.

The Caylee Casey Anthony Case & Caylee's Song

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Interpretation of Casey Anthony's Diary - Beat Up

Dear Private Eye,

I feel like I've been beat up all my life. Now I'm down for the count. I don't want to get up anymore.  I want to lay here and disappear.  How do I keep fighting when I got no fight left? 


Dear Defeated,

When it comes right down to what you perceive as life's final knock-out blow, it may not be so.
When you think you can't get up anymore know this:  just by thinking you can rise... your mind can set your body in motion.  Your brain controls your body's actions.
You can pick yourself up, dust yourself off and live to fight another day.

We humans are the only species, allegedly, that can anticipate.... pontificate upon... our own deaths.
So some of us fear death every day. Others toy with it. Some delay it or deny it. Others claim to welcome it.
I believe, initially, none of us, goes down without a fight.
There's nothing quite so strong as the survival instinct.  It's what "fight and flight" are all about -- do you choose to fight and risk death for yours or a greater perceived good?
Or do you choose flight, and live?
 If you've got a few minutes Deafeated, (which it sounds like you do), check out the video below.
Maybe it'll strike the same chord in you it has in me and others.
If things get worse, call a crisis line, a suicide line, talk to  a family member, a friend,  teacher, your doctor, walk into the ER...tell someone how dark your world truly is... and you might be surprised who might extend a hand and help you to your feet.
Consider the You Tube that follows your first leg up.

Most sincerely,
Your Private Eye

"Be Great, Powerful Beyond Measure"

Sunday, July 3, 2011

A Variation on Nigerian Check Scam

I feel compelled to post this letter here because it will show you the lengths people will go to  separate you you from your money.
This scam started two days ago, when I got this letter at and it said  "help!"
So I write back and say, "Help how?"
The letter came again. Two words.
"Help me."
So I write back again and ask "How can I help?"
The reply which I just got, I'll now cut and paste here.
It's the newest version of the Nigerian Check scam.
I will post my reply to him.
And I will end this whole blog post with a link to good site for learning more about Nigerian Check Scams.

Dear friend,

Thanks for your quick response and greetings to you in the name of
our heavenly God. This mail might come to you as a surprise and the
temptation to ignore it as unserious could come into your mind;
but please, consider it a divine wish and accept it with a deep sense
of humility. My name is John Kelly. I am a 55 years old man. I am
British living in Dubai (United Arab Emirate).I was a merchant and
owned two businesses in Dubai. I was also married with two children.
My wife and two children died in a car accident six years ago.
Before this happened my business and concern for making money was all
I lived for. I never really cared about other values in life. But
since the loss of my family, I have found a new desire to assist
helpless families. I have been helping orphans in orphanage/
motherless homes. I have donated some money to orphans in Sudan, South
Africa, Cameroon, Brazil, Spain, Austria, Germany and some Asian
countries. Before I became ill, I kept $2.5 Million in a long-term
deposit account at ING BANK London, United Kingdom.
Presently, I am in a hospital where I have been undergoing treatment
for oesophageal cancer. I have since lost my ability to talk and my
doctors have told me that I have only a few months to live. It is my
last wish to see this money distributed to charity organizations.
Because relatives and friends have plundered so much of my wealth
since my illness, I can not live with the agony of entrusting this
huge responsibility to any of them.
Please, I beg you in the name of God to help me collect the deposit
and the interest accrued from the company and distributes it amongst
charity organizations. Use your judgement to distribute the money and
feel free to reimburse yourself when you have the money for any cost
you incure during the process of collecting and distributing the money
to charity organizations.
I am willing to offer you a reward If you are willing to help;
please reply as soon as you can.
May the Good Lord bless you and your family.

John Kelly
Dear John:

I think it's really low of you to resort  to cancer and starving orphans as a way to prey upon others.
At least winning the lottery, or helping some former rulers in exile was creative.
This is plain pathetic.
John you are  a predator, a shark, and your lie is transparent.
I certainly will not help you in any way except the following two:
1. I will expose you on the internet.
2. I will forward this letter to a contact at the FBI. They hate cyber stalkers and crooks like you.

Also know... the internet cafe where you are sitting now reading this...
or maybe you are in one of those boiler plate rooms that sends mass emails like this...
they offer you no protection, no shield.
John, you can not hide anymore with the advanced capabilities of computer forensics.
You will be tracked and hunted down based on your email header... and you will feel grief rain down on you.
You will be stopped when it comes to the point when you face more legal and financial pain than pleasure by ripping people off.
Until then, have a lousy day. Many.

Not Your Private Eye

Link to: "Nigerian Scam Continues to Rip Off Millions"

Friday, July 1, 2011

Dear Private Eye:

I was laid off my job 1.5 years ago and because this is at at-will state and they said it was my job performance. I am still fighting for unemployment. I had no saving, lost my apartment. I  am flat broke and the only time I get money is when I put up a sign on a street corner. On rainy nights, I  stay in the shelter when there is room.  Mostly I sleep under a tree in a park near the U district. I use internet in the library. I am getting more and more depressed though. I don't feel like eating. I don't feel like looking for a job. I lost my cell phone. My friends have all walked away because I guess I am too much of a bummer to be around. My  father is dead, my mother called me a parasite. My girlfriend dumped me right after my employer did. I am single, have no kids, I am 34. And I can't remember the last time I felt even close to  being a human being.  I want out of this life. I am thinking more and more about suicide, the Big Sleep. It's got to be better than this. Any suggestions?

Signed, "Hopeless"
Dear Hopeless,

I realize this sounds corny and the last thing you need is is one more platitude, however, "where there's life, there's hope."
Once you commit the big S, Suicide, there is not life, there is no hope.
The amazing thing about life...and hope... and the universe... is it is ALWAYS the darkest before the dawn. And you NEVER EVER know how a story will end unless you decide to end it before you let it play out. Which I do not want you to do.
You are not alone in your unemployment, your homelessness, your despair. You are aware we have the highest foreclosure rate in history? Unemployment numbers have risen above the stratosphere and  are still rising.
Somehow you found you your way to this  little blog. You sound both literate and resourceful.
There is a reason why you are here.
So may I suggest you not give up? Don't check out.  Not Yet.
There is still life in you, a spark, so there is still hope.
May I, urge you...  to knock on every hospital ER door,  walk into every homeless city encampment, contact every crisis prevention line, call every suicide line, walk into any mission, shelter, church, even the police, crisis clinic, you name it... and keep at it until one person... that's all it takes... one person...extends a hand. Sometimes, that person is a stranger who might just be a friend you haven't met yet. Other times, one simple call for help to a family member you haven't talked to for eons turns into karmic cog that  can moves... even rocks... your world.
I think there are viable  reasons people choose to exit life early. The horrific quality of their life, due to extreme illness/relentless pain is one reason.
However, you are still alive, kicking, albeit seriously depressed.
You are capable enough to find a place to lay your head at night and somehow you wake up every morning. That's a start. Just try to stay away from the booze and drugs even though you may think they offer you comfort and help you forget. They are a depressant. And ultimately, they could contribute to a suicide before the cavalry has time to arrive.
Our society is much more understanding these days about situations like yours.
Think of yourself on a Spirit Quest, knock on every door you can, speak to everyone you can. Someone, I am convinced, will see in you what I see in your letter. Hope and Promise.