Thursday, March 24, 2011

The Wrath of Helen

I heard this story yesterday on my rounds.
I figured it was bull, radio fodder for the masses.
I was wrong.

It happened in Florida.
One neighbor, Dwight, a 53 year old current or retired cop (can't recall which) helped out his 92-year old neighbor Helen next door with varying tasks.
It's what we tend to do when we are decent human beings.
So Dwight, the neighbor, took Helen's trash to the curb.
Helen was so moved, she wanted/demanded a kiss from Dwight.
I think his response was appropriate.
He didn't insult her. Or hurl.
Instead, he  diplomatically said he had a girlfriend.
And that was that, or so he thought.


Whoever said "Hell knows no fury like a woman scorned," got it right this time.
Because scorned Helen was seriously ticked off.
She went in her house, got her gun and proceeded to blast away, shooting a barrage of bullets into Dwight's window, walls and one into his car.
Fortunately, Dwight was not hit, though he was quite shaken up.
And Helen was arrested.
Helen told the judge he really wanted to just go home.
The judge didn't think it was such a good idea.

And I'm wondering today what Dwight was thinking because this just happened.
It's not the best time to sell your house, especially in Florida.
And I don't think, even in his wildest dreams, well-intentioned Dwight could have seen that one coming.However, it happens.

Moral of this little story?
The flame, no matter how old we are, doesn't die in some people.
Nor does the desire for revenge.

I will never forget being introduced to a 100 year old man, an old soldier, who asked me for a kiss.
This was almost a decade ago.
I was surrounded by family, I figured.... what the heck?
When I went for a peck on his cheek, he whipped out one hand,  grabbed the back of my head and pulled my mouth directly on his.
It took a bit of force to break the suction, similar to a toilet plunger... and pull away.
I wasn't sure whether to slug him, or laugh.
Instead, I just steppped away...
found some mouth wash in a nearby bathroom...
and added it to my list of bizarre and strange life experiences.

Now, thinking about that moment and writing this post... it is remarkable to me that after
100 years on this planet, the guy thought he's still got it going on.
Yet, like Helen, socially acceptable boundaries eroded over the years.
Fortunately, though... unlike Helen... he had no gun at the time.

Here's a link to the case from  "The Smoking Gun"

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