Sunday, March 27, 2011

She Just Wanted To Be Happy.

I've enjoyed having Shash and The Bearman on the blog this week.
I find the story heartening and inspiring -- especially given the current global/economic meltdown.
And now, having survived a long stint with a flu and being down for the count, in my nice cozy little beach house.... I think about what a gift my life truly is.
What a gift most of our lives are.

If you are reading this, your life is a gift.
Because you have a computer, you have internet, you have time to read my words.
Just as I have time, albeit it brief, to write this blog.
Like me...  if you have access to the web you are most likely, at this very moment, safe.

However...are you happy?
Really happy?
The level of business I grow as a P.I. can be correlated, in my opinion at least, to the level of  unhappiness out there.
When I was a newbie Investigator, I took more domestic cases than I could count.
Now, I farm them out unless I am sure there is a fraud involved.
Because all stories, especially ones of love, have at least two sides.
And there's always a third side, the truth.
If a woman hired me because her man is cheating...
how do I know the woman who hired me is not cheating? Or not whacko?
Or maybe she is driving her man into the arms of another woman just because she's so miserable to live with.

I am working for a family now on yet another homicide/suicide.
I occasionally get  those cases once the Medical Examiner writes the word "suicide" on the death certificate.
The family usually doesn't buy it when they hate the boyfriend/husband/lover.
Did she blow her own brains out, or did he?
The family, of course, blames him.
He, of course, blames her.
I tell the families, when they hire me, I may find out it WAS a suicide.
So they may pay me their good money for the answer they do not want to hear.
Ultimately, it is all about the evidence.

A  P.I.  is not an advocate for the client.
We are advocates for the truth.
And sometimes, people don't like or want the truth. They prefer to swim in their own illusions or delusions.

So I was investigating one such suicide/homicide case a little while ago.
I asked for keys to the dead woman's car.
The suicide didn't happen there, the car wasn't being held in evidence.
And the case had  just been closed after the police investigation.
No one had been in her car since she died.
He didn't want it and was going to sell it, said it had too many bad memories.

A few facts first, before I get to the point.
She met  him on the net, a dating site.
He swept her off her feet.
Said he was once a soldier, when he was not.
Said he graduated from a college he never attended.
I could find no record of a G.E.D. or high school diploma.
He always had a wad of bills when they dated, always paid the tab.
Once he hooked her, she paid.
Something wasn't right.
He was nowhere as bright or motivated as she.
He began to isolate her from friends and family.
Her beloved pets both "disappeared" one day at the same time.
It was just the two of them.

Her family knew  he had bad mojo.... felt it, tried to talk her out of letting him move in.
However, she had never been in love like this, she said. Ever.
All she said was "He makes me so HAPPY!"

And there's no fighting the happy hormone tsunami of two people who first fall in love.
That is a physiological fact.
The first stages of love are so nauseatingly sweet, it's hard to swallow or listen to the endless affirmations of love
It's all they talk about.
New lovers are so bound in each other's essence,  they lose themselves, their individuality, for at least.... some say 6-12 months.... when the hormones  ultimately wear off.
Then the  real truth emerges.
In my opinion, every couple needs a few good arguments under their belt to see the other's truth.

Sometimes it's a good truth, some times it is not.
Personally,  I believe true love is as rare as diamonds.
And this dude I was investigating turned out to be a lump of coal who saw her as his diamond.
When the fights started, when words got flung, when the booze was guzzled, she ultimately realized he was not what he appeared to be.
She confided her fears in one person, on another coast.
However, by then, it was too late.
Somehow, he moved in to her paid-off house, convinced her to refinance it.
He got her to marry him in City Hall. Fast.
The witnesses were his two friends.
No pre-nup (she had money, no kids).
And six months later, allegedly, she used his gun to shoot herself in the face.
Even though she was opposed to the Second Amendment... even though she signed a petition to that effect and hated guns.
Beyond that, women tend not to shoot themselves in the face when we commit suicide because of the vanity factor.

He had nothing, she had everything.
She is gone... now he has everything.
And the police don't buy the family's argument.
She had a turbulent psychological history. She was on antidepressants. She drank.
She dutifully took pills he said were vitamins.
The tox screen found lots of oxy and benzos in her blood and above the legal driving limits of alcohol.

So back to the point of this story.
She's dead, I was investigation that death. Homicide or suicide?
I was sitting in the driver's seat of her car. I noticed a CD in place.
I turned on the engine,  the CD  instantly went on, the song I am linking you to next played loudly about a minute into it.
I think  the song speaks volumes as to her state of mind.

I am still working the case. I remain open to all possibilities though suicide isn't looking good to me right now.
I also found this guy had three former wives.
I've only found one, so far. She hung up on me the minute I  called and mentioned his name.

The point of the story is this:
With the economy on the down tick, predators are on the uptick.
Bad boys and  bad girls are looking for fulfillment, security, opportunity or money from others. Predators are running rampant, wolves in sheep's clothing.
So should you meet someone who seems too good to be true, they may be just that.
Too good to be true.
May i suggest you savor a new relationship... while moving slowly...investigating deeply.
And if you are older and have assets, get a pre-nup. And have an exit plan just in case.

Many women going through divorce end up at lower income status than their husbands.
Many are reduced to poverty level.
Maybe it has to do with glass ceilings. I think it has more to do with the fact that women tend to fall in love  too fast without strapping on a parachute.... because they still believe in Prince Charming.
Even if he is a toad in disguise.

The song above is the song I found in her car.  I decided to post the version with lyrics.
You draw your own conclusions.

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