One Word To Cheaters.

Don't.
If you do cheat... leave.
Just pack up your stuff, head out of the house and go somewhere else. To your lover's, a motel, a friend's, relative's, sleep in your car.
If you cheat, just leave.
It makes things so much easier.
You are obviously not meant to be married and you are harming someone who has committed his or her life to you.

When you know for a fact your spouse is cheating... file separation papers, so they can't continue to to cheat you financially.
Get separate attorneys when someone cheats on you, because they will continually cheat you financially throughout the divorce. If they hook up with a dude or dudette who wants your money, that's two against one. Have no doubt, a cheater will always turn on you in divorce/financial proceeding.
Cheating is a battle, divorce is a war.

If the cheater begs you to please come back.... that they're sorry... it was an aberration... and they want you to try therapy, I sure wouldn't blame you for trying. Though I wouldn't put money on the table you will get  past it. Like an animal with that first taste of blood, once a cheater almost always a cheater. Never does the suspicion go away and suspicion is no good for a relationship.

I wouldn't stay with a cheater.
The minute someone betrays me in such a vile way, that person is history.
However, you are you.
And whatever you do, no one can control you but you.
Just know... if you cheat.... you will be found out. No if's and buts here.
And if you have kids... someone like me... A PI.... or your soon-to-be-ex... and/or  his or her friends, will be on you like white on rice. The kids are innocent and you have betrayed them too.

Know that once your cheating is uncovered,  we PI's  are not  rogue.
We work with Divorce Attorneys, DSHS and the police.
We help weave a net of protection around our clients, the ones who are being cheated on.
Or defrauded. Or lied to.
The thing that blows me away, not just as a PI, also as your average person, is why the cheater thinks they will be able to get away with it?
The minute a new lover enters a domestic equation, it's like the universe sends up red flags and there is no way your affair is not only obvious to your spouse, but everyone around you.

With more and more people meeting in the workplace, Facebook and classmates.com, more and more affairs and cheating are happening. The economy is failing and predators are looking for others to support their financial habits.

Remember, sex or "falling in love" is  a drug. For many, an addiction. It releases hormones, it makes people crazy and nothing matters but them and their new partner or partners. It is an addiction you are powerless over. Cheating and alcohol/drugs are often intertwined.
 
I am writing this now to release my pent up angst so I can work on a few cases involving...yes... cheaters!
Go figure.
There are certain deal breakers in a marriage-- cheating and addiction.
When kids are involved, the dangers rise exponentially.
Because a woman never knows if the man she is cheating with is a good guy or Ted Bundy in disguise.
People lie all the time. Many sex offenders and pedophiles on the internet target women with children, to go after the kids.
Many bored, lonely, or money hungry women on the internet target men they think have money.

There are two deal breakers in a marriage/relationship.
Addiction and cheating.
When it comes to cheating, I believe there is no middle ground.
And I think those who think alternative lifestyles with several partners or wives are delusional.
One of many partners will bring an STD into the equation and that will bring death.
Not a reasonable price to pay, in my humble opinion, for a cheap thrill.