dearprivateeye@gmail.com - Re: Rapist Profile

Dear Private Eye:

DearPrivateEye@gmail.com

I have been wanting to ask you this recently. I know you from Facebook. I was raped by a stranger and my question is "what kind of person would do this?" I have the counselors answer: an abused person who is obviously sick". but I think you could give me a good answer on this. I suppose you might need a few details to be able to answer.

Here is a summary of what happened:

A man came to my door at about 3 in the afternoon on a weekday Febuary 11, 1986. No one was home. I lived with my mom who was at work. He used a ruse that he was interested in our townhouse that was up for sale. I was just going back to college to finish my degree in Arlington, Texas. I had been getting hang-up calls in days prior to and when I pulled up to the house that day, he was passing the other way and stopped. So he was clearly watching me. My counselor established that. Okay, I went to shut the door on him but he was clever and talked his way for me to let him in, which I had a lot of guilt about later. He looked around then went upstairs with me following. He took out some handcuffs and I screamed. He said "no use screaming no one can hear you". He led me to my mom's room, then put handcuffs on me. He raped me and asked me to do a few things. During which time, he asked me if I were a virgin. Told me I was so good-looking. Said there is no love in the world. When it was over, he asked me to get in the bathtub where he pulled out one of those old-fashioned douche bottles and asked me to use it, saying "You didn't think I would get caught for this did you?" He combed his hair and looked presentable again, then said "you might as well not report it, no one will believe you?" I did report it but he was never caught.

Now since then, I have studied all sorts of crimes and am fascinated with FBI profiling. I got into counseling and have had 30 years of counseling over a bad family. So some good came out of it. I am just now getting to a place where I can even talk about it. What I noticed about him was the sick demeanor about him. How he was so full of hate and had really gone to a lot of trouble to plan this out in detail. I later, years later, thought I saw him again at a real estate job interview scam where they tell you it is a job interview but it is really trying to sell you something. He stared at me and then left as soon as it was over. But the fact that I was at the mercy of such a sicko was terrifying.

Can I get a criminal analysis of this guy. A professional opinion of what type of person he is. Can you tell anything from what I have told you? I want to know what I was dealing with beyond a counselor opinion or a book on the matter.

I appreciate your help so much.

"A Facebook Friend"

Dear Facebook Friend,


First, I can not thank you enough for both your trust and your letter. I have read it several times and thought about it for sometime before replying. First, I can not imagine how you survived the attack itself with your sanity in tact. Let alone the aftermath. And what really stops me in my tracks is the following line from your email.


"I am just now getting to a place where I can even talk about it. What I noticed about him was the sick demeanor about him. How he was so full of hate and had really gone to a lot of trouble to plan this out in detail. I later, years later, thought I saw him again at a real estate job interview scam where they tell you it is a job interview but it is really trying to sell you something. He stared at me and then left as soon as it was over. But the fact that I was at the mercy of such a sicko was terrifying."

I salute and honor your courage in reporting this after it happened.
I wonder if the police retained any evidence in a cold case box after all these years?
It is possible his specifics behavioral action are already in a Federal profiling database. Remember, BTK was found decades after his killings. Same thing with The Green River Killer.

You were clearly stalked before hand, he knew how to find you.
It took courage to come forward after such a private, violent and horrific experience.
In almost all rape cases, the rapists threatens the victim, and/or their family...
and convinces them there is no evidence.
reporting this was a strong, powerful and very good move.
I am just curious about a few things before I answer your question.

After the second encounter,  I know one thought you might have, as a victim, he evidently recognized and stalked, you felt to to charge him now would be to put your own life in more danger.  I am thinking you were thinking... even "Well, there's no DNA, no evidence if I accuse this guy he could do it again, or worse kill me."
Still, based on that meeting years later, I wonder if you/we could turn the tables on him. I tend to be very pitbull-like in nature. I hate the idea of this criminal still out there, meeting women at seminars, at open houses.

Do you have any identifying information one could get to the police/ FBI to check him out... in case he is still doing this to people? Their profiling databases are amazing. And I suspect you are just one of many women  and he has done the same the pattern he followed with you, repeatedly. Since you didn't ask me for advice on what to do... and you have been in counseling.... and no doubt have been over this same terrain in your head for decades forgive me for adding this opinion here. I am of the ilk if there's a way we could find this guy and a third party could get involved to protect you while he is being investigated, we could bring him down.

That said, back to the point and what you want to know. You asked:

"my question is "what kind of person would do this? I have the counselors answer: an abused person who is obviously sick. but I think you could give me a good answer on this. "


My answer, and excuse my french,  is WTF?  Or better said, what the heck?
How would your counselor know the guy was an abused person?
How would your counselor know the guy is sick?
Doesn't sick imply something wrong with the body and mind, something beyond his control?
Aren't sick people, people who have physical or psychological maladies -- like cancer, or diabetes, or endo, spinal injuries... or psychosis,  post traumatic stress, manic depression, anorexia, some addiction, sick?
How do we know he's not just doing this because he likes it? Gets off on it?
I have a close investigator friend who does profiling and I will email her this blog when I am done and see  how she's answer your question.
My answer is this.
I think the guy may have been abused. Or maybe he grew up in the lap of luxury.
I think he may have had some issues with mom, or maybe he had the perfect family.
While it is a fact that many abused people abuse others, it is also a fact that many abused people go out of their way to not abuse others.
And many people never abused abused others.
So let's just toss the abuse excuse in the trash because we don't and can't have an answer to that unless we know this guy's name him, investigate him, dissect him psychologically.
I believe your counselor was wrong in saying he was abused because he or she does not know that for a fact.

I also believe your counselor saying he was sick was what he/she believed, however, I do not consider rape a sickness. I consider it an act of violence and power and violation.
And while I am not proud to admit it, I did a stint defending rapists when I worked as a criminal  investigator the Public Defender's early in my career.
My rapist clients were a mix bag.
One was huge ugly dude who could never land a date and refused to pay for a hooker so he just took it.
Another was a man who claimed he was possessed (more like obsessed in my opinion). He said once he saw a girl, and liked her,  she became a fixation in his head. Much the way many people, for example, fixate on food. Or finding a soul mate.  This client fixated on raping women because it felt good.
I had one guy claim it was his wife to blame because she refused him.
Another guy claimed it's the only way he can make things "happen."
Ted and Bundy who raped and murdered, always chose a woman who looked like someone he loved who dumped him once. He also blamed his acts on the availability of pornography.

I would never dispute that some rapists were abused or raped themselves.
Nor would I disagree that some are also sick.
However, I do not think your couselor did you justice by writing it off with a pat answer based on no evidence. Obviously, you are still struggling with the question.
In my opinion, nature and nurture are the key elements to explore when it comes to motivating factors.
We know nothing of either when it comes to your attacker.

I think you profiled him spot-on in this one sentence you wrote,
"What I noticed about him was the sick demeanor about him. How he was so full of hate and had really gone to a lot of trouble to plan this out in detail."

What we know from this, then, is his demeanor appeared "sick" to you.
Was it like and illness sick or psycho sick?
Was the sick part a lack of compassion, empathy, his brutality?
He could have been a psychopath or sociopath. Or he could have been on drugs. Or he could have been 100% sane and  wanted to act sick to throw you off.
When you said he  was an "angry hateful man who is very organized and detail oriented." I think you hit another key profile point. Angry, hateful, organized. This was not an act of impulse. It has been done before and may still be done.

I honor the strength it took for you to write and send your email. I will protect your privacy. Let me know if you need a  conduit for you to the authorities if ever you get a name, plate number, anything on this guy. If he's doing seminars,  or just still out there doing this, there are women at risk. You know how to reach me several ways. Let me know if I can help further.

Thanks for your email,
Your Private Eye

P.S. There is a comment section below this post for others to add their opinions. Please add yours.  It would be helpful to so many if this column were an open forum.