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I had a much lighter blog to post today, however, now that this audio had been officially released, I felt a compulsion to post it. The reasons for my posting it here are not sensationalistic in nature. That's what the main media is for.
Instead, I post the You-Tube clip above because it lets you actually witness what PI's and police deal with all too often. Domestic disputes that make people so crazy that many, like Mel cross the line and destroy their families, reputations, career, and futures.
What's so bad about this whole thing is Mel's kids.
He's got a herd of them. Including a new baby. And now, this is a burden they must bear.
To hell with Mel. He crucified himself in the name of narcissim, not God.
While I could write about this subject forever, that would make me late for my first case.
Just want to add one thing before I head out on my investigative rounds.
When I do encounter angry folks like Mel, and I have attempted to talk to them like Oksana did, calmly...slowly... it doesn't help. It will only cause them to escalate.
I just step out of the equation until the anger dissipates.
There is no reason when anger or rage is present.
If you have as temper or are the target of one, may I suggest you get a grip on it.
Before it crucifies you.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
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Thanks Susan for sharing that, but I would like to respond to something you said... "Domestic disputes that make people so crazy that many, like Mel cross the line and destroy their families, reputations, career, and futures." You also said " hen I do encounter angry folks like Mel, and I have attempted to talk to them like Oksana did, calmly...slowly... it doesn't help. It will only cause them to escalate."
ReplyDeleteIt sounds here as if you are saying the dispute makes Mel Gibson {and other abusers} crazy enough that they do these things, and that his anger is what is controlling him. That's not accurate at all. In fact, it's what we call excusing their behavior.
One, the dispute doesn't make the abuser crazy. Two, the abuser isn't crazy.
Three, anger has nothing to do with it.
Four, no matter what the victim does, whether she talks calmly, yells, or tries to leave (take herself out of the equation), he is going to escalate, and she is going to be targeted by him.
Abusers choose to be abusive. Specifically, they choose to be abusive toward their intimate partner and/or children. They are not out of control, and it has nothing to do with anger and it isn't because they have a temper. It is because they choose to use abuse to gain and maintain power and control. And it works. It works on the victim, it works in our society, and it works too often with the system that is supposed to help.
Think about this: if it was about anger, they would treat ALL people this way when they are angry. Hell, if it were about anger, wouldn't we ALL have an excuse for abusing someone when we got angry?? If it were about anger, they would abuse the check-out clerk, the teacher, the cop, the preacher, the father-in-law - whomever "made them angry". They wouldn't act like "such a nice guy" to all these people and then go home and beat the shit out of their intimate partner.
The dispute doesn't make them crazy. People in relationships have disputes all the time. For those who choose not to be abusive, they don't respond to a dispute with physical, emotional, mental, or verbal abuse. And they abuser isn't crazy, in the majority of domestic violence cases. Again, they are abusers who choose to use violence to gain and maintain power and control.
As long as our society continues to choose words that excuse abusive behavior, the abusers will continue to have support and latitude in their abuse, and people will continue to blame the victims directly and indirectly(you shouldn't have made him angry, you should have kept quiet, you should have left...)
Thanks for giving your readers the chance to comment, and for posting so much interesting stuff for your readers to read...
elizabeth - i agree with your point, i think however, you may misunderstand mine. once the element of anger enters an interaction, like one person exploding, the exploding person can no longer be dealt with logically becaus there is no logic cued in their brain just emotion. it is not an excuse, imho, just a fact. most of us control our response to anger, its just when some of us cross the line and become too angry, they yell, hit, or kill. never ever would i justify any abuser's actions. i just know some people tweek big time, some get less angry. we all have our own internal anger meters. the ones who cant control their own anger will find it exacerbated by drugs and alcohol. personally i don't think people make other people crazy.i think we make ourselves crazy if we are not already there to begin with.thanks for the insightful detailed reply.
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