Black Widow In Waiting

Today I am thinking about a male friend, who is about 20 years older than me. Give or take a few years, because I am not exactly sure.
If you were to meet him, I think you might agree he is an incredibly handsome and dapper man with thick gray hair and a wide open smile. He has a certain style of dress I will not describe, lest someone here I know recognize his distinct trademark fashion touch.

Some men have that one "fashion touch... the one thing they wear everyday, it could be a bow tie, vest, hats, designer suit, a Rolex.
His special fashion accessory was a distinctive, aristocratic and elegant finishing touch.

When he took me on a tour of his house, I was impressed by his collection of rare art from around the world and intrigued by the stories he told me be about each incredible piece.
I was even more impressed by the professional tablecloth and napkin steamer he had.
I'd never seen one of those or known they existed.

Truth be told, I dated him for a while.
He had two kids, not all that much younger than me... a grand kid... and a beautiful house on an island in the woods. He owned a successful company. He knew famous people. He was great on the asset list.
There were only two liabilities that exceeded all the assets for me.
Being: his life ruled
And my life, at that time, was in chaos.
Plus there was that 20 year age gap...
so we remained friends all these years and nothing more.

Then he met a girl we will call "Ivy."
Ivy just popped up one day and rooted herself in his life.
Ivy was not her birth name, she changed her first name to that of a flower.
For the purposes of this blog post, "Ivy" will do, because that is what she is... more of a vine of the kudzu variety... that climbs all over its hosts, eventually pressing and pulling the life out of them.
Not only did Ivy change her name, she changed her background and many other things to snare this wealthy man, my dapper friend, who we will call, "Grant."

Like me, Ivy was 20 years younger than Grant when she met, seduced and married him. Grant had been married before and had two children close to Ivy's age. Grant did not know or believe Ivy was not a good person.

I got married about the same time Grant and Ivy did, to a guy we all call Moose because he's a big tough guy, the kind who leads a herd.
He also talks about as much as moose does, which is not much.
A former Marine, Moose spent 14 years in the military. Semper Fi, ever faithful.

When I compare rich dapper Grant to my Moose, I am grateful for the choice I made.
Mine was a choice based on love not money
Ivy... on the other hand... saw Grant's money and despite... or because of... the age gap, she targeted him.
I know I am not alone in thinking this.
I have one other Facebook friend who knows whom I speak of.
She shares the fears I have for Grant with me and after I post this, I'll email her and tell her to read this blog.

You see, my close friend and I... let's call my friend Elizabeth... she introduced me to Grant because Elizabeth is one of his closest friends.
And we --Elizabeth and I --- believe... hypothetically speaking of course... that Ivy could kill Grant and likely will.

Sounds extreme, I know.
However...it is obvious to me and to Elizabeth...that Ivy is of the ilk of those women who do kill their men for money.
Let me clarify.

As I said , Ivy married Grant (this would be Grant's second marriage) about the time I got married (also for the second time) 10 years ago.
Then quite mysteriously, Grant and Ivy divorced just a year or so into their first marriage.
I must add that somewhere in marriage one, or shortly after (I'm not sure which),
Grant had a triple bypass.

Then I guess single life wasn't good enough for Ivy.
When she was running out of money and saw Grant's business was thriving and moving from its rainy island home to farm country in the sunny side of Washington... she seduced her ex-husband Grant and convinced him to marry her a second time.

Understand, not a single one of Grant's friend's liked/likes Ivy.
Grant's kids can't stand her.
No one trusts her. Not me, not our mutual friend Elizabeth. No one, but Grant.
Ivy has forbidden Grant to see the many female friends in his life. He has complied.

It's not that Ivy is mean looking, or outwardly offensive -- it's just that she is visibly and viscerally insidious, like a snake. She is evidently self-serving, narcissistic and so hungry for money she oozes it. Sad truth is... Grant not only has eyes only for Ivy, she has him turned into her Stepford Husband.

They moved to "Sunnyville" where he relocated his business and she wanted to open a business.
POOF!
Grant handed over the capital and one of his outbuildings for that business.
Which, btw (by the way) isn't bustling.

Then she wanted to open a restaurant, POOF!
He gave her the money and now she has a restaurant.
Which, btw, is in a depressed economic area.

And my close friend, Elizabeth, the one who introduced me to Grant and is one of his closest friends, recently went to visit Ivy and Grant on their way across the state.
Ivy would not make a single appearance during her visit.
She did not let let them in their house.
All their meals were eaten out without Ivy though Ivy spent a lot of time on the cell phone, calling Grant while he dined with Elizabeth and her husband alone.
Something was definitely not right and it made Elizabeth quite confused and concerned for her friend Grant.

When Elizabeth told me this story, that was the first time I told Elizabeth I wouldn't put it past Ivy to kill Grant for the insurance money if he didn't have another heart attack first. She concurred. It was clear Ivy was already draining his finances dry. We pondered our options and realized there were none.

Grant already knew the nature of the beast when he married and divorced her the first time.
He chose to embrace that same beast when he married her again.
He made his bed and unless she violated the law...
or stated an intent to harm him to someone who reports it...
there is nothing anyone can do to pull him out of it.

Last week I got a distressing email from Grant. Distressing for two reasons: first, because I couldn't help him. And second, because I couldn't be sure it was from him.

The email was a brief hello, said there was a "disturbing" phone number he wanted traced. I knew the blocked number couldn't be traced without violating Federal Law, which I didn't plan to do.
I wrote and asked him to tell me more about the nature of the nature of the call...without discussing privacy laws with him at that time.

Suddenly another email came back. It was of the "never mind" variety.
Then it was a soliloquy of his love for Ivy.

I wondered if Ivy sent me that email.

It is a helpless situation for all of us who see someone we love hanging with someone who is bad for them... or worse, evil. Some of us can see the whackos coming when others can't. Men are particularly vulnerable to psychos, in my opinion, because all too often, men think with the wrong head.

That said, I write this only to purge myself of my worry for my friend. That is all I can do.
I hope at a party I will see him again ...
or when I pass through the town his company is now in, I may visit...
though I suspect Ivy will not welcome me.

There are far worse things in this life than living alone.
And in these tough economic times, if you have money and you are single, you might as well have a target sign painted on your back.
Black windows like targets.
Add a few threads here and there... and they've a got themselves a web.