Posts
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Missing
I've always worked, even when my kids were young.
I chose to work out of my home, so what I did was hire "nannies" -- a fancy word for babysitters.
When my children were babies, I hired elderly grandmother types who would tend to them while I worked in my home office.
When the kids got older, I moved to younger, bright, students with wheels and a great sense of responsibility.
So...once... in the baby phase... it came time to hire a nanny, I chose Mary (a pseudonym) who was 50. Now in hindsight... and with years of P.I. work under my belt.... the red flags were there. She was TOO perfect. But that was then. History.
I did the usual background check, though I wasn't a P.I. then and didn't know what I was doing. I checked her resume, her references.
She seemed perfect.
It was only after I hired her she told me THE story:
When she was a young mother, living in Florida, she would allow her 3 year old son to play in the front fenced yard while she did her housework.
One day, she said, while she was doing the dishes, her 3 year old son disappeared.
And was never found again.
I felt a huge wash of sympathy overcome me... then confusion.... because when she told me of this loss it was without emotion.
She didn't show the pain I have seen in faces of the missing.... a pain that doesn't EVER go away.
She was always happy, upbeat, almost too perfect.
She had a daughter later and now had grandchildren, though I knew they were all in a financial struggle.
From the point of her sharing the abduction story on, I felt a visceral uneasiness replace my sympathy and stayed very close to home.
Within days of that announcement she asked me this question.
"If you were hungry and out of money and you knew someone who had an abundance of food, would you steal some of that food to feed your children?"
I told her I would ask the person for the food first.
She looked at me oddly, and said,
"What if you didn't want to ask? Or they didn't want to give it to you?"
I told her I would try to find any other another way than stealing. Though, I confessed, if my kids WERE starving and there WAS a whole lot of food around me no one would miss, I would take the food and feed my kids.
And what happened next, is so minor... compared to what families of the missing go through...
I feel flippant, almost irreverent, posting it here.
However, this story must end so here's what happened.
I'd been collecting these "My Little Ponies" and other cool toys for the kids.
I figured one day, as adults, their kids would like them. So I had this cherished box of the most special toys we pulled out and played with. It was an impressive collection.
One afternoon, just after I arrived home, Mary hurried out the door as soon as I arrived.
It was the first day of the work week, a new paid period.
When I went to the kitchen table, there was a resignation note.
It said something about due to the health of her daughter, she must quit.
The note had a p.s., "Keep today's pay."
And that was it.
I called her back, her phone was disconnected.
She was gone.
And so was the box of sacred toys.
No jewelry missing...no stolen checks... nothing else... just the toys I'd been collecting for years.
I knew in my gut, she stole them for her grandchildren.
I felt the loss and betrayal deeply for a while.
They were JUST toys, yes... however... they were symbols to me.
Of faith, then betrayal.
Symbols of how little I knew about people.
And how close I came to having something real terrible happen to my kids because I hired a thief who could have done far worse.
The internet didn't exist then... in the times I have looked since, I found no records of Mary or her child abduction.
And it's been only in recent years, my kids now adults, that I wonder if Mary's daughter was really HER birth daughter.
Maybe....she asked me the question NOT because she was about to steal my kids' toys, but because she stole her daughter from someone else.
Maybe she felt justified since someone stole her son from her.
Or maybe the whole abduction story was fabricated. Though if so, why?
I have been running in circles with this question ever since.
Every missing children leaves an inextricably altered family... and community in their wake.
What's hard for me in such cases, is imagining what the parents imagine first.
What's hardest is imagining what it must be like to be the child who is taken.
That must be one of the darkest places in the whole world.
Without the media and videos like the one above, we wouldn't know those worlds exist.
I chose to work out of my home, so what I did was hire "nannies" -- a fancy word for babysitters.
When my children were babies, I hired elderly grandmother types who would tend to them while I worked in my home office.
When the kids got older, I moved to younger, bright, students with wheels and a great sense of responsibility.
So...once... in the baby phase... it came time to hire a nanny, I chose Mary (a pseudonym) who was 50. Now in hindsight... and with years of P.I. work under my belt.... the red flags were there. She was TOO perfect. But that was then. History.
I did the usual background check, though I wasn't a P.I. then and didn't know what I was doing. I checked her resume, her references.
She seemed perfect.
It was only after I hired her she told me THE story:
When she was a young mother, living in Florida, she would allow her 3 year old son to play in the front fenced yard while she did her housework.
One day, she said, while she was doing the dishes, her 3 year old son disappeared.
And was never found again.
I felt a huge wash of sympathy overcome me... then confusion.... because when she told me of this loss it was without emotion.
She didn't show the pain I have seen in faces of the missing.... a pain that doesn't EVER go away.
She was always happy, upbeat, almost too perfect.
She had a daughter later and now had grandchildren, though I knew they were all in a financial struggle.
From the point of her sharing the abduction story on, I felt a visceral uneasiness replace my sympathy and stayed very close to home.
Within days of that announcement she asked me this question.
"If you were hungry and out of money and you knew someone who had an abundance of food, would you steal some of that food to feed your children?"
I told her I would ask the person for the food first.
She looked at me oddly, and said,
"What if you didn't want to ask? Or they didn't want to give it to you?"
I told her I would try to find any other another way than stealing. Though, I confessed, if my kids WERE starving and there WAS a whole lot of food around me no one would miss, I would take the food and feed my kids.
And what happened next, is so minor... compared to what families of the missing go through...
I feel flippant, almost irreverent, posting it here.
However, this story must end so here's what happened.
I'd been collecting these "My Little Ponies" and other cool toys for the kids.
I figured one day, as adults, their kids would like them. So I had this cherished box of the most special toys we pulled out and played with. It was an impressive collection.
One afternoon, just after I arrived home, Mary hurried out the door as soon as I arrived.
It was the first day of the work week, a new paid period.
When I went to the kitchen table, there was a resignation note.
It said something about due to the health of her daughter, she must quit.
The note had a p.s., "Keep today's pay."
And that was it.
I called her back, her phone was disconnected.
She was gone.
And so was the box of sacred toys.
No jewelry missing...no stolen checks... nothing else... just the toys I'd been collecting for years.
I knew in my gut, she stole them for her grandchildren.
I felt the loss and betrayal deeply for a while.
They were JUST toys, yes... however... they were symbols to me.
Of faith, then betrayal.
Symbols of how little I knew about people.
And how close I came to having something real terrible happen to my kids because I hired a thief who could have done far worse.
The internet didn't exist then... in the times I have looked since, I found no records of Mary or her child abduction.
And it's been only in recent years, my kids now adults, that I wonder if Mary's daughter was really HER birth daughter.
Maybe....she asked me the question NOT because she was about to steal my kids' toys, but because she stole her daughter from someone else.
Maybe she felt justified since someone stole her son from her.
Or maybe the whole abduction story was fabricated. Though if so, why?
I have been running in circles with this question ever since.
Every missing children leaves an inextricably altered family... and community in their wake.
What's hard for me in such cases, is imagining what the parents imagine first.
What's hardest is imagining what it must be like to be the child who is taken.
That must be one of the darkest places in the whole world.
Without the media and videos like the one above, we wouldn't know those worlds exist.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Mountain Goat Kills Man
I don't know about this case. Clearly, the mountain goat stabbed the human and the human died.
The goat was then hunted down and killed.
I have mixed feelings about this...
the killing of the goat without a fair trial.
Perhaps the goat was acting in self defense.
Or maybe it was a mother goat protecting a nearby baby goat.
Perhaps the human did something to unknowingly or knowingly provoke the goat.
For whatever reason the goat did what it did... killed the the human.... and the goat was executed.
And eye for an eye.
A goat for a human.
I'm just know if I would call that justice.
Would you?
Here's the link to the story.
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2013189753_olympicpark18m.html
The goat was then hunted down and killed.
I have mixed feelings about this...
the killing of the goat without a fair trial.
Perhaps the goat was acting in self defense.
Or maybe it was a mother goat protecting a nearby baby goat.
Perhaps the human did something to unknowingly or knowingly provoke the goat.
For whatever reason the goat did what it did... killed the the human.... and the goat was executed.
And eye for an eye.
A goat for a human.
I'm just know if I would call that justice.
Would you?
Here's the link to the story.
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2013189753_olympicpark18m.html
Saturday, October 16, 2010
You've Been Served
I serve hard-to-find people subpoenas every now and then. I've written about it here before. Two nights ago, however, I think I made history.
I became the first P.I. ever to have the person who was served, ask the server for a hug.
The attorney laughed when I told him the story and added at the end, "I think he'll be a friendly witness."
My job was to find him, find out what he knows. And if what he knows is important, then serve him a trial subpoena.
So I called him talked to him. Told the attorney what I found out. Attorney agreed he could be the pivotal witness in the case. He said "serve him."
I'd talked to this guy earlier on the phone. He was very nice. Incredibly helpful.
I felt bad just showing up at his house and saying you've been served.
Plus I thought maybe he had more info I could gather.
So I asked him to meet me at Starbucks after his work.
Long story short, I bought the coffee and served the subpoena.
His feathers were ruffled at first.
We talked about what a subpoena for trial meant. He became more comfortable.
Then he began talking about his divorce... his drug addicted soon-to-be ex... the poor little five year old son who screams every he sees mommy, who the court and father believes abuses him.
And every time he sees mommy, a court-appointed guardian is there for their two-hour requisite mommy visits.
Mommy does sound like a nut case.
Truly insane behavior which would be why the guy I was serving was awarded full custody.
His soon-to-be-ex was committed to a mental institution twice, takes major pills all the time, smokes a variety of things, crack, coke, meth... has had a couple DWI's. She hangs out with very bad people, forges legals documents, I could go on and on.
Bottom line... the guy, my subpoena subject... told me he has become his own P.I. in his divorce/custody case and now he wants to become a P.I. for real.
He asked about the avenues to get there.
He also wanted some advice, which I gave him.... quid pro quo and pro bono for the subpoena.
I liked him. He was a good guy and great dad. About 15 years younger than me.
I told him I was impressed with how he handles life.
When it came time to go, he said, "Can I give you a hug?"
I said, "Sure. I've never hugged anyone I served a subpoena to."
He told me it as his first subpoena ever and it was a pleasure.
We both laughed and parted ways.
What an unexpected ray of light in what is usually such a dark side of our business.
I became the first P.I. ever to have the person who was served, ask the server for a hug.
The attorney laughed when I told him the story and added at the end, "I think he'll be a friendly witness."
My job was to find him, find out what he knows. And if what he knows is important, then serve him a trial subpoena.
So I called him talked to him. Told the attorney what I found out. Attorney agreed he could be the pivotal witness in the case. He said "serve him."
I'd talked to this guy earlier on the phone. He was very nice. Incredibly helpful.
I felt bad just showing up at his house and saying you've been served.
Plus I thought maybe he had more info I could gather.
So I asked him to meet me at Starbucks after his work.
Long story short, I bought the coffee and served the subpoena.
His feathers were ruffled at first.
We talked about what a subpoena for trial meant. He became more comfortable.
Then he began talking about his divorce... his drug addicted soon-to-be ex... the poor little five year old son who screams every he sees mommy, who the court and father believes abuses him.
And every time he sees mommy, a court-appointed guardian is there for their two-hour requisite mommy visits.
Mommy does sound like a nut case.
Truly insane behavior which would be why the guy I was serving was awarded full custody.
His soon-to-be-ex was committed to a mental institution twice, takes major pills all the time, smokes a variety of things, crack, coke, meth... has had a couple DWI's. She hangs out with very bad people, forges legals documents, I could go on and on.
Bottom line... the guy, my subpoena subject... told me he has become his own P.I. in his divorce/custody case and now he wants to become a P.I. for real.
He asked about the avenues to get there.
He also wanted some advice, which I gave him.... quid pro quo and pro bono for the subpoena.
I liked him. He was a good guy and great dad. About 15 years younger than me.
I told him I was impressed with how he handles life.
When it came time to go, he said, "Can I give you a hug?"
I said, "Sure. I've never hugged anyone I served a subpoena to."
He told me it as his first subpoena ever and it was a pleasure.
We both laughed and parted ways.
What an unexpected ray of light in what is usually such a dark side of our business.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
You can't run away.
People, who were once lovers, partners, friends, do not like being left.
Having been there, done that and now.... being paid to investigate it, I thought it appropriate I post this video for a few of my clients and friends going through some rough domestic situations at the moment.
Every day, someone leaves someone in their dust.
Friendships get derailed.
Lovers split due to incompatibility.... or interlopers.
Employers fire life-time employees.
Love affairs, engagements, marriages end....leaving grief, anger and one or two words in their wake.
"Why?"
or "Who?"
I think the following song does a great job getting you inside the head of a someone who is grieving.... who feels discarded, betrayed. I hear Paramore's words time and again from clients who expected to be married forever.
Having been there, done that and now.... being paid to investigate it, I thought it appropriate I post this video for a few of my clients and friends going through some rough domestic situations at the moment.
Every day, someone leaves someone in their dust.
Friendships get derailed.
Lovers split due to incompatibility.... or interlopers.
Employers fire life-time employees.
Love affairs, engagements, marriages end....leaving grief, anger and one or two words in their wake.
"Why?"
or "Who?"
I think the following song does a great job getting you inside the head of a someone who is grieving.... who feels discarded, betrayed. I hear Paramore's words time and again from clients who expected to be married forever.
Word of Wisdom
I have early cases today. All southbound, still debating ferry or bridge to cross the water to my first location. Meantime, I want to to leave some wisdom in my wake. Though these words are not my own... they've become a part of my life. And the way I want live it. To those who've never heard them, consider embracing them. They soften life's rough edges.
"Before you speak, listen.
Before you write, think
Before you spend, earn.
Before you invest, investigate.
Before you criticize, wait.
Before you pray, forgive.
Before you quit, try.
Before you retire, save.
Before you die, give."
William Arthur Ward
"Before you speak, listen.
Before you write, think
Before you spend, earn.
Before you invest, investigate.
Before you criticize, wait.
Before you pray, forgive.
Before you quit, try.
Before you retire, save.
Before you die, give."
William Arthur Ward
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
A New Addiction.
Meth, sex, porn, pills, nicotine, booze, food, facebook, etc. And now, auto tune.
Only 40,000 people will have seen this video when I post it here. Hopefully we can take awareness of this new addiction viral... in a healthy kind of way.
Only 40,000 people will have seen this video when I post it here. Hopefully we can take awareness of this new addiction viral... in a healthy kind of way.
This is my first day with some time at home base in a long time.
I am between wrapping up two cases, starting a few others and figuring out how to have a life in-between.
All my mailboxes... on laptop, desktop, mobile phone are full.
So is the sink. Full.
The laundry basket. Full.
There are little hairballs I like to pretend are tumble weeds in the far corners of our domestic wasteland, abandoned when work/duty calls.
Our remote beach house is almost all cleaned up after a catalytic converter exploded in our fireplace while we slept. A similar fate befell a local family, three unfortunate people died from the same thing.
It was the smoke detectors that woke and saved us.
The entire place was covered with fine film of black brown slimy ash.
Meantime, the show had to go on.
The bills had to be paid.
Work had to be done.
I could write epics about every day I spend working outside this beach sanctuary as an investigator. And I am working on that.
For now, this brief moment.... a window opened.
And there is this one space, this one little blog, someone might read. Or not.
It's the diary of just one P.I., written by one more ant in the colony.
Today's assignment, I must head out to serve some subpoenas this evening.
It's a two part challenge.
First, the finding of the subject.
Then the passing the papers from my hands to the subject's without any kind of altercation.
So far, I have yet to encounter an episode of violence, before or after serving a supbeona.
That could be largely due to my approach.
When I knock on a door or walk up to someone, they never see a P.I. coming.
Just smiling, friendly, harmless-looking, me.
Sometimes I even have flowers in hand.
By the time the subpoena is in their hands and I say "you've been served," the adrenalin rush is quite similar to roller coaster status.
Only it's all internal and about escape.
You know you've got to fly...
and fast....
and hopefully avoid anyone getting between you and your car.
Or anyone getting your license plate numbers.
That said, I just looked at the clock and it just gave me a dirty look back.
I'm running late.
So I posted on Facebook, added a blog here and now, I can happily set off to places and people unknown.
Be safe out there today.
Meanwhile, today's survival tip:
Don't drive in the left lane and never drive in front of a Semi.
I am between wrapping up two cases, starting a few others and figuring out how to have a life in-between.
All my mailboxes... on laptop, desktop, mobile phone are full.
So is the sink. Full.
The laundry basket. Full.
There are little hairballs I like to pretend are tumble weeds in the far corners of our domestic wasteland, abandoned when work/duty calls.
Our remote beach house is almost all cleaned up after a catalytic converter exploded in our fireplace while we slept. A similar fate befell a local family, three unfortunate people died from the same thing.
It was the smoke detectors that woke and saved us.
The entire place was covered with fine film of black brown slimy ash.
Meantime, the show had to go on.
The bills had to be paid.
Work had to be done.
I could write epics about every day I spend working outside this beach sanctuary as an investigator. And I am working on that.
For now, this brief moment.... a window opened.
And there is this one space, this one little blog, someone might read. Or not.
It's the diary of just one P.I., written by one more ant in the colony.
Today's assignment, I must head out to serve some subpoenas this evening.
It's a two part challenge.
First, the finding of the subject.
Then the passing the papers from my hands to the subject's without any kind of altercation.
So far, I have yet to encounter an episode of violence, before or after serving a supbeona.
That could be largely due to my approach.
When I knock on a door or walk up to someone, they never see a P.I. coming.
Just smiling, friendly, harmless-looking, me.
Sometimes I even have flowers in hand.
By the time the subpoena is in their hands and I say "you've been served," the adrenalin rush is quite similar to roller coaster status.
Only it's all internal and about escape.
You know you've got to fly...
and fast....
and hopefully avoid anyone getting between you and your car.
Or anyone getting your license plate numbers.
That said, I just looked at the clock and it just gave me a dirty look back.
I'm running late.
So I posted on Facebook, added a blog here and now, I can happily set off to places and people unknown.
Be safe out there today.
Meanwhile, today's survival tip:
Don't drive in the left lane and never drive in front of a Semi.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Disclaimer - Don't be afraid to take a stand.
I don't think anyone who reads my blog hasn't heard a four letter word or seen a middle finger before. However, this video is filled with them... and all kinds of adult concepts.... so don't play in front of minors, if you are deeply religious or offended by this kind of music.
"I'm Not Afraid"
When I tell people what I do for a living, I get asked a lot of questions.
Like "do you hide in bushes and spy on people?"
Or "do you carry a gun?"
Or "Is it dangerous"
And ocassionally, "Are you afraid?"
Admittedly, in the very beginning, many moons again, I did have a measure of fear to deal with every day.
Now the fear, when it comes, which is seldom, is really more of an alarm clock, adrenalin rush, wakeup call in my head. It just says "pay attention". Beyond that it rallies me to rally others out of their fear.
And when I heard Eminem's song, expletives and all... it spoke to me.
Whether it speaks to you, or offends you, welcome to my blog.
And hip hip hooray for freedom of speech.
However, if there are kids or people offended by four letter words around, please don't play this in front of them.
Like "do you hide in bushes and spy on people?"
Or "do you carry a gun?"
Or "Is it dangerous"
And ocassionally, "Are you afraid?"
Admittedly, in the very beginning, many moons again, I did have a measure of fear to deal with every day.
Now the fear, when it comes, which is seldom, is really more of an alarm clock, adrenalin rush, wakeup call in my head. It just says "pay attention". Beyond that it rallies me to rally others out of their fear.
And when I heard Eminem's song, expletives and all... it spoke to me.
Whether it speaks to you, or offends you, welcome to my blog.
And hip hip hooray for freedom of speech.
However, if there are kids or people offended by four letter words around, please don't play this in front of them.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Drive By Wisdom
I am a busy P.I. lately. Not that I'm complaining because when you love your work....and you have work... life is good. The only challenge is getting it all done. Most full time P.I.'s like me work 14 hour days. (I pulled two all-nighters in the past nine days.)
It's almost like fishing. Investigation has its seasons and this would be one of them. Many of my client's are seriously or catastrophically injured. Some aren't lucky enough to survive the various accidents that befall them and I meet their grieving families.
After a life-altering injuring which the attorney's client isn't responsible or liable for....
when some other party is clearly at fault....
attorneys are willing to send me to their clients, to check out the case, the facts, investigate it....
the scene, the damage, the works. That keeps me on the road a whole lot.
When I get back home at night, the cases I worked that day must be written up.
There are photos to be processed and put together. Invoices. Then delivery to the attorney.
Some days are slow, some are moving at warp speed.
This one of those warp speed days for me and I didn't want to leave the blog unattended... especially since we started teaching a new year's P.I. class at the university last night. I know many of our new students will be stopping by this blog for the first time today. I want to say hello to all of them, invite whoever is game to stop by my FB wall and say hey. That's how we'll get to know each other better until my semester comes.
I told our students last night I use this blog and my FB wall as a business tool. My FB friend count reflects blog readership vs. real life friends. I want my students to see that P.I.'s are evolving in their cyber marketing tools and techniques.
And I want regular people, civilians, to know what P.I.'s really do. How ethical we are... how the good among us live, breathe, eat, sleep... justice.
Justice, being truth.
I have many detectives, police officers, media people, authors, soldiers, bounty hunter friends on Facebook. To our students -- feel free to friend my friends and you will learn from them as well.
So I must work now.
I am closing today's post with a favorite quote.
I have "author unknown" though I suspect someone reading it will know who wrote it and let us know. Either way, I have always found this message inspiring. If you haven't heard it before, it's a keeper:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It's almost like fishing. Investigation has its seasons and this would be one of them. Many of my client's are seriously or catastrophically injured. Some aren't lucky enough to survive the various accidents that befall them and I meet their grieving families.
After a life-altering injuring which the attorney's client isn't responsible or liable for....
when some other party is clearly at fault....
attorneys are willing to send me to their clients, to check out the case, the facts, investigate it....
the scene, the damage, the works. That keeps me on the road a whole lot.
When I get back home at night, the cases I worked that day must be written up.
There are photos to be processed and put together. Invoices. Then delivery to the attorney.
Some days are slow, some are moving at warp speed.
This one of those warp speed days for me and I didn't want to leave the blog unattended... especially since we started teaching a new year's P.I. class at the university last night. I know many of our new students will be stopping by this blog for the first time today. I want to say hello to all of them, invite whoever is game to stop by my FB wall and say hey. That's how we'll get to know each other better until my semester comes.
I told our students last night I use this blog and my FB wall as a business tool. My FB friend count reflects blog readership vs. real life friends. I want my students to see that P.I.'s are evolving in their cyber marketing tools and techniques.
And I want regular people, civilians, to know what P.I.'s really do. How ethical we are... how the good among us live, breathe, eat, sleep... justice.
Justice, being truth.
I have many detectives, police officers, media people, authors, soldiers, bounty hunter friends on Facebook. To our students -- feel free to friend my friends and you will learn from them as well.
So I must work now.
I am closing today's post with a favorite quote.
I have "author unknown" though I suspect someone reading it will know who wrote it and let us know. Either way, I have always found this message inspiring. If you haven't heard it before, it's a keeper:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"When things go wrong as they sometimes will, When the road you're trudging seems all up hill, When the funds are low and the debts are high, And you want to smile, but you have to sigh, When care is pressing you down a bit, Rest if you must, but don't you quit. Life is queer with its twists and turns, As every one of us sometimes learns, And many a failure turns about, When he might have won had he stuck it out. Don't give up though the pace seems slow--You may succeed with another blow, Success is failure turned inside out--The silver tint of the clouds of doubt, And you never can tell how close you are, It may be near when it seems so far; So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--It's when things seem worst that you must not quit."
Unknown
Unknown
Monday, October 4, 2010
The Fort Ludlow Massacre
One of my family friends, who is serving in Iraq, brought this story to my attention recently. I never heard about it and didn't pay much attention until I started digging around. Beyond the most horrendous crime... massacre, the killing, the brutality... there is also the role the Private Detectives back then played in the killing. I had no clue that many moons ago.... many started out, professionally, as thugs and killers,
I'm leaving a link to the story in my wake today.
I had no clue this ever happened.
http://www.umwa.org/?q=content/ludlow-massacre
I'm leaving a link to the story in my wake today.
I had no clue this ever happened.
http://www.umwa.org/?q=content/ludlow-massacre
Saturday, October 2, 2010
An Old Favorite
Al Pavino's pre-game pep talk has always held a special place in my heart. It speaks more to me about life than football. He says what I feel.
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